What’s a Bitcoiner?

Picture this: a person who’s more obsessed with magical internet money than your grandma is with her soap operas. That’s a Bitcoiner for you!

These peculiar creatures can be spotted in the wild, furiously tapping away at their phones, muttering phrases like “HODL” and “to the moon!” They’re the ones who get a twinkle in their eye at the mere mention of Satoshi Nakamoto, treating the mysterious figure like a rockstar who ghosted after dropping the hottest mixtape of the century.

Bitcoiners have a unique superpower: they can turn any conversation into a passionate sermon about the evils of fiat currency and the glories of their beloved orange coin. They’re like vegans, CrossFit enthusiasts, and people who’ve just discovered meditation – all rolled into one, with a dash of tech geek thrown in for good measure.

Their natural habitat? Twitter, where they wage meme wars and engage in heated debates about hash rates and halving events. In the physical world, you might find them lurking near strange-looking ATMs, grinning like they’ve discovered the secret to eternal wealth.

But beware! Once you enter their world, you might find yourself checking the price of Bitcoin more often than your own heartbeat. Before you know it, you too could be a Bitcoiner, boring your friends with tales of financial revolution and dreaming of the day when your digital stash will buy you a Lamborghini.

So the next time you see someone with a gleam in their eye talking about “stacking sats,” you’ll know: you’ve just encountered a Bitcoiner in their natural habitat. Approach with caution – and maybe hide your credit card, just in case.